If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me “How’d you bring up two kids and have a big career and have a marriage?”. The truth is, it’s not easy. Not if you really want to make it in your career. Now, I am mainly talking about women, cause I cannot speak for a man’s experience. In my case, I think my kids got cheated out of having me around more, (even though I told you, Adam thought I was a lunatic when I was home). And, frankly, I loved to work.
I am only writing about my experiences naturally, (since it is my blog). For me, work (especially when I am working on a show I love) is in my DNA. It’s what makes me tick. Without it, I don’t feel whole.
But being the Jewish girl (you didn’t know?) that I am, of course the right thing to do is get married (and I wanted to) and have children!
I remember when it clicked. I could have it all! I was sitting in the CBS THIS MORNING newsroom. Missy had two little girls, Pat Shevlin was pregnant. I thought, wait a minute, I am running around like a lunatic booking guests and I better start thinking about the other part of my life. (Getting married, having kids etc).
I was dating Ted, who also worked at CBS News. We had met there, thankfully, cause I rarely left the office. I loved it, maybe a little bit too much! Ted was (and is) a great guy. He is the total opposite of me.
He’s REALLY SMART- (I hope you think I am too) but, Ted is smart about stuff that I know nothing about.. WW2, Which lakes boarder what states, what happened in just any news story you could think of. I am more the street smart kind of gal. Which by the way, I am happy about!
So, Ted and I are dating. He is now a VP at CBS News, We decide it’s time to get married (and I am sure we did it out of a sweeps period!). I was really happy, he could’t have been nicer to me and more supportive of this career of mine that was starting to slowly grow.
FIVE MONTHS later I am pregnant. WOW! who knew? I was so happy. I had a really hard pregnancy with Adam. Get ready.. I threw up for 25 (TWENTY FIVE) weeks. And not just in the morning. Morning, afternoon, evening, middle of the night. (Are you still reading?). Even in front of Dan Rather in the cafeteria at CBS. Swear, true story. Anyway, I worked til the bitter end, and had Adam on July 30th.
I hate to repeat myself, so if you read back from an earlier blog, It was not easy to go back to running around the country once I had my first baby. That’s when I started in the daytime world with my FAVE- JOAN RIVERS.
You see, I never really set out to have have this big career, I really didn’t. But, how could you not love working for CBS News and meeting really interesting people and going to places that you would never travel to? And, then to get the experience of working for JOAN???
I LOVED IT. So, I have a husband, a baby and Joan says the show is moving to LA for a few weeks. Adam is about 6 months old. What would you do? Well Ted, who was so comfortable in the role of Dad from day one, and was super supportive of my career, insisted that I HAD to go to LA. He and our Nanny would handle Adam, the house, etc. (No nothing happened with them!)
Then i get pregnant with my second baby. Now for anyone who had 2 kids, you already know, you cannot pay any attention to your husband. Put on top of that, I was now working at the Sally Show. The hours at Sally were insane. I went to work at about 9 am and got home at midnight, at least 4 nights a week. Oh yeah, I had to work most weekends. I was probably addicted to the work, cause it made me feel so complete and the show was working. And TV was FUN!
So here I am, running a TV show, a BIG one, running back and fourth to my kids school plays, concerts, teachers conferences, school trips.. (and yes, I will admit it.. I DID MISS OUT ON MANY PLAYS, FORGOT ABOUT A CONCERT AND HATING BEING THE MOM ON THE SCHOOL TRIP)
I didn’t fit in with the Moms. I was so entrenched in my work life, I felt like a fish out of water at most school functions. (Any full time working Mom can probably relate to what I am saying)
Then came Maury, I had to be at work at 7:30 am- we taped early and I went in early for our early production meeting. At this point, my boys are both going to Dalton in NYC. (I had to live in the city cause I was at work so much).
Well eventually something had to give. You cannot spread yourself so thin. I was running to meetings, producing a national TV show, reading my kids books along with them, so I could help with their homework. (come on we all helped) and who was getting left out? My husband.
I am here to say that if you REALLY want to make it, and I mean, be a female boss, it is VERY VERY VERY HARD TO HAVE IT ALL.
Today, Ted and I are very good friends. We brought up two great boys. But, our marriage couldn’t take the pressures of my jobs.
Now, don’t feel sorry for me. I am happy, Ted and I have a great friendship that works for our family.
I am just here to say, Yes, I had (and have) a GREAT CAREER, met unbelievable people, stars, politicians etc etc etc, but it took its toll on my marriage.
I say, YOU CANNOT HAVE IT ALL.